Sunak’s Natural Happiness Manifesto

Prompted by months of low ratings, Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has announced a radical change of routes with a new manifesto based on the organic growth principles of Alan Heeks’ new book, Natural Happiness.

Posing with his lectern beside a tree in St James’ Park, Sunak explained, “I have realised that the British people are tired of shallow-rooted plans, and want true sustainability in these stormy times. The Seven Seeds of Natural Happiness is just the tonic our nation needs, when research shows us up as the most miserable people in Europe.”

The new manifesto is based on the Seven Seeds:

  • Deepen your roots: a massive green prescribing programme will give people Nature experiences instead of pills, saving £36 billion, one-fifth of the annual cost of the NHS.
  • Natural energy sources: part of the NHS savings will go into training for civil servants and workplaces on harnessing appreciation and inspiration as natural energy sources, saving another £30 billion, one-third of the annual cost of absenteeism in the UK.
  • Compost your troubles: this process will form the centrepiece of future Cabinet meetings, which will be held around the compost bins at Hackney City Farm.
  • Shaping uncertainty: the Co-creative Way: recognising the irrelevance of the current school curriculum in these crisis times, a new Natural Happiness National Curriculum will replace it, with co-creative skills as its centrepiece.
  • Cultivating community: Mr Sunak comments, “I admit that our savage cuts to local authority budgets were grossly unfair, and the savings from our new plans enable us to reverse the cuts and fund a programme of resilience-building for local communities.”
  • Growing through climate change: there will be major investment in approaches modelled on regenerative agriculture, as laid out in Natural Happiness, strengthening societal resilience and physical infrastructure.
  • Natural Inspiration: not only will school and college students be required to sit with a tree for half a day per week, so will Cabinet ministers and civil servants. An oak tree in St James Park comments, “Bring it on! A pity it’s April 1st.”